yvonne_luv_peace_4eva_ ^.6 v

不实在的感觉，让我有点迷惘。。该如何地走下去。。

2012-01-26T17:06:00.000+08:00

1月26日 2012年
宝贝，其实和你的这段感情，给我的压力实在是太大了，我有点承受不住了。。刚开始的时候，我不觉得。但是日子久了，不安的感觉来了。我觉得，你从来都不把我放在你的心上。让我感觉到的是，你好像还要负担地背着我去走这段感情路。我没要求你一定要陪我或跟着我24小时，还是什么的。至少你要给我感觉到你对我的爱和关心。我要求的东西很简单，但是应该却是很难做到的吧！
想和你说分手地说，你不如去找一个更加适合你的女孩，我发觉我真的不适合你。你需要的是一个不必你担心，一个很自立的女孩，一个可以把你照顾得好，同时又可以把自己照顾得很好，也可以把你家人照顾得好的那种女生。我不确定自己是否做得到，可是我有努力地在尝试。但是我想告诉你，我是一个很喜欢依赖身边的人的那种女孩，喜欢撒娇的女孩，喜欢被人疼，被人宠的。（可能从小到大，都要扛着很多的责任，每个人都以为我很独立，要做个女强人，然后就不怎么的关心和疼我，大家就是总觉得我是个坚强的女孩子，不需要人疼爱。偏偏这是我最不想要的。我只想要很简单的被人疼爱着就好。就因为每个人都觉得我很坚强，很强悍，所以，我不想让身边的人失望，我也只有继续把自己武装起来，不能让任何一个人看到我的软弱）。然而，对着你，我好像是不可以这样做，因为我知道你会不喜欢。所以我不能够说你不好，可能在之前我已经经过了太多的事，我对感情这样东西已经没有了安全感，所以是我不好，跟不上你。我敢说的是，如果换在之前的我，我一定会很享受这样子的一段关系。不过现在的我，已经不是那个以前的那个我了。这样子的关系，我会有点压力，因为我觉得，感觉很不实在，好像发梦似的，睡醒就没有了。
我写了这一段，我也不知道何时可以让你看到。。因为，我需要勇气。。因为我还处于在，要和你继续，还是不要和你继续走下去

凡事往好的方面想

2011-10-08T12:16:00.002+08:00

其实，无论如何，我都不可以太悲观。那会影响我的心情和判断力。。加油。。小心一步一步地走。。要保持乐观。。:)

你决定放开我的手了？？

2011-10-05T00:47:00.002+08:00

今天，和他一起去吃午饭了。。我很开心。。不过，晚餐后，却又改变了我的想法。。我想我会决定放弃。。很害怕。。因为想太多咯。。今天，又学会了，在这个世界上，没有人对任何人春有义务的去关怀你，呵护你，照顾你的。

被忽略的感觉，真的很不好受。。就好像是，我在紧张他似的，他好像都不是很在乎我而已。难道，他今天牵了我的手过后的那一刻，就后悔了。。所以他决定放开我的手。。 >"<

最后一次的机会，明天晚上，看他会否找我？若没有的话，就此打住。。拒绝来往了。。放手就放手吧！

是我的缘分吗？难道只是镜花水月？？

2011-10-03T02:07:00.000+08:00

　最近，我发觉我喜欢了他，长得不错，是我的类型。他的人很好，对我也很不错，但是，我就是不知道他是否和我想的也一样。有没有那么一点定儿的喜欢我呢？认识了他两个星期，感觉不错.

人家说，一样星座的人，是很难会走在一起的，我不想去相信。。这会不会是一个事实呢？暂且不去想它了。。
这几天，他去了槟城，我们至少还可以谈电话，传简讯。　我在想下个星期五，他将会去越南十天，我们要如何联系呢？他会如何和我保持联系呢？不知道他回来时，还会不会主动找我呢？因为我一直觉得我是个女生，不想太主动去找他。就如阿忠所说的，如果他去了越南回来，他还会即刻找我的话，证明我在他心里是有一点的分量了，和他一起的机会蛮大的，。。那好，我就等着他回来吧。。

就祈求神给我们这个机会吧！！　你一定要回来找我哦！　

美好的一天

2011-06-19T03:13:00.010+08:00

今晚的一切都太美好了。今晚第一次在文良港的回音石驻唱，那里很大。我带了相机去，却忘了拍照留念。>< 然后，新晋歌手奕忠到场宣传专辑，我又可以趁机偷懒了，哈哈！！又可以陪lisa聊天，我们大概有一年多没见面了。聊到，不想上台唱歌了。开心^^
一言难尽。我开心倒不知道要说什么了。然后，阿忠他们有来捧场，爽，但是没机会和他们聊天。
过后，我很谢谢昨早我的前面的几座顾客们，他们都很用心的在欣赏着我们的演出，又给我很多掌声。。一直陪我们到结束。。开心、开心。。哈哈哈

发烧时唱歌的后果。。。 >< 就是这样的效果

2011-06-17T02:23:00.002+08:00

越开心越失落？？？不会吧？？？

2011-02-27T00:28:00.002+08:00

今天真的很开心，因为可以见到我的老朋友，katherine，pck 和 paulsen。我们度过了一个快乐的晚上。。

但是，心里还是很寂寞。可能或许我还是在想念mervyn。。虽然没见过他，但是心里就是有一种很强烈的感觉，他好像真是我要找的那个人。不过，昨晚和他聊了大约一个小时，我很开心，不知道有否把他吓跑！！不过，我相信若是属于我的，那就是我的，就算不属于我的，至少我争取过，也了无遗憾。。希望这次我真的没看走眼啦！我已经有点很疲惫。

越觉得开心，心里的空虚感就越强烈，这种感觉不是每个人都能理解的。所以自己一定要学着怎么应对。。

暗恋比较好？还是被暗恋比较好？

2011-02-20T00:15:00.003+08:00

我真的觉得这是一个值得被争议的话题。应该很多人都会选择后者吧！
但是如果，给我选择，我会选择暗恋我喜欢的人来得比较舒服！！至少我也不会感到难受。因为我太清楚暗恋人的痛楚。如果有人暗恋我，会使我很不安，除非，我也喜欢他，那就另当别论咯！！
最近认识了一个朋友的朋友，老朋友介绍来的。虽然没见过他，但是和他很聊得来。开始有种喜欢他的感觉，你说可以和维持多久的朋友的关系呢？又想问有没有机会和发展呢？其实，我不知道在我见到他后，还是会不会对他有像现在的感觉。。可能见过他之后，就没有了那种喜欢他的感觉。这我也不懂。可能这个时刻，我只想有个人陪吧！他的工作很忙，这两天，没有什么时间和我聊天，我觉得有点失落。。不过，我会留在fb等他下线，我才睡得着。然后会很期待他发信息给我，但是这两天都没有收到！真的有点不开心咯！！
昨晚临下线前，他有说每天和我谈天，结果都没有。唉。这次有时我自己自讨苦吃。算了吧！总好过，被不喜欢的人追求，然后又要想尽办法不令他伤心，又不会失去他这个朋友咯!
雯，最好这个是个过眼云烟咯！！不然痛苦的又是自己哦！！

错的人

2010-12-11T03:43:00.004+08:00

没了，没了！我和他肯定没了，刚刚好一个月。难道这是上天的旨意？？？我认识他那天是12-11-10，今天和他最后一天也是12-12-10。也好不会太长，不然我想我应该会更加伤心。。
好难控制自己的感情啊！我想我真的不适合谈恋爱吧！、

或许一个人真的会更好。。。喵，你要加油哦！
今晚苦了就算了吧！

别对我那么好，好吗？

2010-11-30T01:54:00.003+08:00

请你不要对我这样好，可以吗?

我好不想爱上你，我不想在我爱上你的那一刻，然后你才对我说，你对我并没有意思，我会很难想象我会有多痛苦多辛苦。

其实我对爱情真的没有安全感。当然，感情是需要双方面的付出，才有成果的。

你现在对我那样好，其一，是你可能自己也不知道为什么，或许是因为你才刚失去一段感情，然后你不知道你可以对谁好，然后，阴差阳错的，我出现在你面前，你就开始对我好，让你有个寄托来抒发。其二，有可能你真的喜欢我吗？可能性太低了。。

不过，这几天和你频密的交谈过后，我也发觉，我们可能也不适合，即使我们是两情相悦。最重要的是，我发觉我可能真的接受不了这段新的感情，我害怕。。只能告诉你，当我会很害怕失去那样东西时，就意味着我真的非常在乎那样东西的存在。换而言之，其实，既然你已出现在我生命里，我就不想失去你。所以，我不想和你有任何情侣的发展关系，我只想永远守着你。那样子，至少我不会那样伤。。好自私的我。。。

好的东西永远都不会属于我的，因为它是赐给比我更需要的人。。。

谢谢你，我真的很感动

2010-11-18T01:01:00.005+08:00

谢谢你，这几天以来对我的重视，真的很感激你，让我有种被疼的感觉，虽然短暂，但是真得开心。
谢谢你给我的惊喜。我真没想过你会这么留意我说的话，真的很感动。当然，我也不敢对你非分之想，因为我确实认识你不到一个星期。但是，从来都没有人会这么留意我的，对我这么好。你我虽然只认识了几天，你对我还真不错。我只能说，我被你感动了。我也很清楚，你对我的好并不代表什么，所以我也不敢去幻想，妄想，奢望些什么。。只知道，这短短的5天，我已经很开心，上帝在这几天让你出现在我身边，哄我，逗我开心，给我惊喜。虽然现在我知道，我不能对你想太多，能够认识你真的值得。就算从今天起，无缘和你再作朋友，至少我生命里的这5天，已值得我一直守在心里到永远。
或许，朋友们都会觉得为什么和你做不成永远的朋友。因为我有种强烈的感觉到，你只会短暂的出现在我的生命里头。
这几天，对着你，我开始无言，不是不想和你说话，只是，那天你给我的惊喜，我到今天都还没能消化，我真的真的真的非常地感动。。看见你，心就很感动到不知道要说些什么。有好几次，眼泪差点就留下来了。所以，连话也都说不出来了。。
什么东西让我更加确定的远离你==〉那就是，你问我喜欢那种类型的男生？条件如何的男生？然后再为我介绍。我收到后，心揪了一下。所以，还是要谢谢你的好意。
这几天，你对我又哄又疼又逗我开心，小女子真的感激不尽，就让这份短短的情谊一直保存在我心到永远吧！

因为我必须要继续我孤独的旅程，美丽的烟花绽放是虽然短暂，但是在你看见后，你就会永远记得它的美，而感觉不到它的寿命是这样短的。

i hate myself so oo........

2010-07-25T10:39:00.003+08:00

现在的我，真的好想拿着一把刀，捅死自己，首先的第一刀，就在喉咙那里，过后就是手腕。然后再让血慢慢由喉咙流至身体，在流向手腕，慢慢一滴一滴的滴在地上，直到流干为止，然后身体就会干干的，所有蛇虫鼠蚁，就会来啃食。。
我真的很讨厌我自己，不是因为什么，就是讨厌就对了。。明知今天有试音，喉咙却不争气，唱得很难听。。。怎么办我已经这么老了，错过了这次的机会，下次我已经无法重来。。
我真的很想离开啊！去别的地方感受生活，不想再呆在马来西亚。。全部人都讨厌我就对了。讨厌讨厌。。但是这些话又不能对任何人说，只能自己收着。。
为什么我会那么的苯蛋。每一样东西都做不好，学不好，什么都比人家迟钝。。人家用一天学，我就得用一个月，人家用一个月的时间学，我就得花上半年的时间，又或者就算时间再长，永远都学不会。。。等下试音活动就要开始了，我还没能唱好一首歌。。。怎么办？？？？放弃？？照唱？？放弃？？？继续？？？？弃权？？？？还是硬着头皮唱？？？？？？

心里的天使VS心里的魔鬼

2010-05-23T02:13:00.006+08:00

魔鬼：我实在是太爱夜晚这个时刻了，也只有这个时候，我才可以毫无此境的发挥自己的才能。哈哈！任我自己发挥，无人能管我了。哈哈！爽！

天使：是吗？你觉得这样对吗？你可否有想过你家人的感受？有否想过夜晚会带给你什么危机呢？难道你真的觉得这样的想法是对的？

魔鬼：可是，我真的只有在这个时候觉得自己最有用，充满自信。

天使：那是你想象的，你觉得你自己适合活在黑暗，那你永远都会呆在黑暗的世界，走不出，来到光明的世界。你可否知道永远呆在一个见不得光的世界有多痛苦吗？你有否知道有许多人好像从黑暗的世界走出来，光光明明的活在充满五颜六色，色彩缤纷的世界。你却身在福中不知福，要待在只有黑色的世界。

魔鬼：但是。。。我真的觉得活在五颜六色的世界，真的觉得很苦，我总觉得身边没人会理我，觉得很孤独。没有人能和我谈心。我也尝试接受这个充满色彩的世界，但是真的好难，好难。。你就别理我吧！！或许有一天我突然间想通了，会去到你的美丽的世界呢？？？、

天使：魔鬼啊魔鬼！！你就别再钻牛角尖了。你知道为什么魔鬼的头上一定会有对角吗？就是因为你们总爱钻牛角尖。为们天使们的头上一定有光环呢？因为可以为地球省电之余，还有扮美作用。你不觉得天使都是美丽的吗？不需要化妆的浓，有光环在套在头顶上，就让我们变得人见人爱，美丽可爱了，朋友就自然多了。你好好想想吧！要继续在你黑暗中永远人人都不敢靠近你的那个魔鬼，还是要来到这漂亮的世界，和我们天使们一样，做天使。当然，魔鬼固然容易做得到，做一位天使，一定会经历一些些的难关，难题。你只要下定决心勇敢，坚强，有毅力的面对困难，问题迎刃而解，你你就是个成功，美丽可爱，讨人喜欢的的天使了。。加油！！

魔鬼后来又真的想了这个问题，有没有采取行动，就不知道了，那就要看魔鬼有没有相通了。。

看来，魔鬼是怎样都讲不赢天使的。。希望魔鬼可以去到天使的世界啦。一步之差而已嘛！！

爱上了一个ONS男人

2010-05-12T23:26:00.009+08:00

最近，恋上一个玩ONS的男生，心里一直在告诉自己不要也不该。但是还是会情不自禁的往这个陷阱踩下去。难道这就是爱情的魔力吗？我真的觉得好难抽身。不想相信他是这样子的一个人。不过现实总是残酷的，我还是要面对和接受这个事实。
每天只能告诉自己，就算哪天他厌倦了我，会离开我，我都要很坚强的去过以后的日子。但是往往想象会比较容易，真要做的话，是很难很难的。最近他已经开始比较少的我说话了，连信息也少了。其实在发展这段感情时，他早已经告诉了我，他只想和我玩玩，也告诉我千万别爱上他。我的心在那一刻真的痛了起来，不过我也天真地以为可能不久他会对我动了真感情。当然，这一切并没有发生咯，若有的话，我现在也不会坐在这里写日志了。心很痛。但是没人可以医我。
朋友就曾经告诉我，我是玩不起这段感情的，为什么要硬把脚踏进这个坑呢，最后我受伤害的是我自己。但是我就是无法自拔啊！怎么办？怎么办？这一切的伤心又不能怪他。因为他并没有骗我，是我心甘情愿的，怨不得人。

finally i m back here to...........

2010-04-22T23:58:00.002+08:00

wow.. i m so happy.. s i just bought a newlaptop at pc fair last sunday..
i m so happy i love it so much n much... hahah.. i bought it with my estimated budget, n get the laptop tat fulfillmy specs.. so happy.. but later on, i still gotta upgrade my ram to 4gb.. coz now this 2gb ram is not really enough to make my windows7 function very very powerful yet.. hahaha.. now i only have 2gb ram, the window7 already took away 1gb++ on my ram le...
actually if tat day i wasn't surveying around, i think i could have buy the acer ferrari1, 1st, i m ferrari superb fans, therefore i love ferrari stuff so much. 2nd, it's a netbook, cool n handsome. haha.. i tell u wat, it is really color in red, spec not bad, can fight with my this laptop.. price even higher than my one now.. hoho, tat time, i really almost wanto buy it, but luckily god saved me, coz my mom's credit card cant swipe due to bank prob.. then i was quite down.. my mom said' come, let's look around 1st, later called ur dad, c whether he can got other card or not' i saw so upset, my dad wasn't with us in the pc fair, although he has a credit card, i dun think he is willing to step into this crowded fair lo.. then i was wandering at tat floor, hoping tat my mom get to call my dad in.. then i was standing infront of a counter, one boy served me, he intro intro lots of type of netbook, coz i told him i like the ferrari so much.. then after tat my eye saw a laptop beside me quite 'handsome', i looked eveyrthing.. then i told my mom it's the one i m looking for.. haha.. of coz i bought this laptop at last n not the ferrari. s i said, ferrari is more high end, spec is the best among the rest i think, but compare to this laptop i bought, of coz it cant fight lo.. haha..

2012

2009-12-04T14:20:00.003+08:00

昨晚，和家人一起去看了2012半夜场，整套戏给我的感觉还蛮不错，情节接衔的不错，很紧凑。画面很美，尤其，这次好莱坞电影把中国拍的好像很厉害那样，突然我觉得中国人应该会感觉很骄傲吧！因为，全世界都将被毁灭，中国就是那个saving point，all arks are built at ther with the most best tech. 哈哈。我觉的真的很爽。不过还是有些小失望，因为，整套戏带给我的感觉就只有好笑，幽默，刺激。因为主角总在最后关头一定会把事情办好。有时真觉得有点不逻辑。哎，美女帅哥一定先死，好人也死，那当然除了主角例外。好不过瘾。说真的，这部 2012 其实本小姐觉得不如 the day after tomorrow 好。因为2012看了你也不觉得会有什么感觉，人类不会对地球将毁灭的警告，而感到惊慌，因为那只是戏。不过，the day after tomorrow 这部戏，反而人们还会有一些警觉性。哈哈。这也只是我想而已，没什么的啦！

看完戏后我就开车载我家人回家，回家的路上，我们就讨论2012一些让人会留下印象的几幕。当我在LDP toll排队时，我们正在谈着2012里头的大地震，地壳陷裂的时候，突然，我的车就震了一下，我妈问我有感觉到吗？我们整车的人都感觉到，我妈问我该不会是地震吧? 我爸那时已跳下车了，我也以为好像2012那样地震，连地也裂了。哪知，我还真是看戏看太多了，发梦得太早。原来后面，有一瞌睡虫撞到我。好在我的车没事，他的车就花了。可怜，可怜。后来，我就把我的口香糖给了他，也告诉他如果真的很想睡，就停在一旁或吃和喝一些让自己可以提神的食物和水。唉，我们就被我爸讲了一顿咯，连车发生小意外也不懂，还天真以为，发生地震。哈哈，真好笑。

my dear Black-C, bye, live in heavenly peace.

2009-04-10T14:45:00.001+08:00

black-c是我家最可爱的猫，昨天他因血癌而去世，我真得很伤心，无奈的，我还是得接受这个事实。

我养他已经有七年了，它是一只很高傲的波斯猫。在几个月前，带他去看兽医时，兽医说他得了血癌，我真的不敢相信，我以为血癌只会发生在人类身上，但兽医说只要是生物都会患上的，只不过发生在在人类的机率较高，小动物的机率较少。我很相信，这个病尽然会发生在我的宝贝猫上。兽医说，他活不久的了。

black-c 好像听得懂似的。那天后，她很黏我和我的家人。从来不让我们抱也不陪我们吃饭的他，自那天后，每天都陪我们吃饭，陪我玩，睡觉，好像很健康似的。这几天，他连跳上椅子都没力气，我就抱他坐椅子，喂他吃猫饼也没力气咬，于是我就卖猫罐头回来给他。昨天，临出门前，我看见她在客厅睡觉，我就过去摸一摸他，告诉他，black-c, 你一定要等我回来，我今天要去买好吃的猫罐头给你吃。他看着我，点头，然后又继续睡觉。我这个笨主人尽然不知道他就要死了。我就出门了，和朋友上街。

大约8.30pm，我没打电话给我说，black-c 死了，顿时晴天霹雳，我说不可能，因为早上出门前，他还好好的。当时，我即刻哭了起来。真的很难相信，发生太快了。我在想，如果我那天没有出门的话，我就可以陪他就一点，又或许我一旦发现他不对劲，我或许来得急带他去看医生。又或许，我可以陪他到死，而不是让他自己等到死。我回到家，一看见她，躺在他的睡盆里，睡得那么舒服，我真的不想接受他已死的事实。摸着他那僵硬又冰冷的身体，我真的不敢相信，他死了。

black-c 真得很乖，他病的那段时间，他还很活泼的在我面前蹦蹦跳跳，丝毫也看不出来他有病。我还以为他恢复健康了。直到昨天死去，我才知道，它是因为怕我伤心和担心，所以他才没show出一脸的病容。

black-c, 我会加油的，像你一样的坚强的。你也要一起为我加油咯。

bye black-c.

my birthday vs 我的生日

2008-05-25T02:06:00.000+08:00

oh, my birthday is today.. hard to believe, i'm getting 1 yr older le.. so bad..
this yr, i not yet plan tat how i wanto celebrate my birthday.. bcoz too busy of working, i really no time to celabrate.. last yr, i went to watch movie 'pirates of the caribbean 3' alone in cineleisure.. but this time, i cant find any nice movie for myself to watch, n i oso dunno wat present to buy for myself .. quite headahce when i think of it.. haha.. but it's fine, at least i wish myself happy birthday..
haha, i think i know wat to do later in the morning when i go to church le, i think this is the best present for myself.. haha, today, i wanto wear very nice nice to church, coz everytime, i goto church i simply wear only.. k la, i decided le, wear nicely to church.. yes.. thanks...
不知不觉，又老一岁了，时间还过得真快。今年，我还没想到要为自己准备一分什么礼物，每次光想到礼物，头就大。最怕就是准备礼物。去年的生日，过得挺不错，因为奖励了自己去戏院看戏（因为平常太忙，每一年踏进戏院的次数，五只手指数起来都有剩）。今年，原本也好想像去年一样，不过呢，最近戏院上映的戏，没有合我口味的啊，就只好取消这个念头咯。
不过，在几秒前，我想到了一个好主意，就是，明天去教堂做礼拜，我要打扮得美美的。平时，穿得太随便了，明天就穿美美，打扮一下，当是今年的生日礼物啦，反正平时工作都没有机会打扮得了。好吧，就这样决定吧！哈哈。

boring day

2007-09-18T14:13:00.000+08:00

i dun have to work today, i stay boring at home.. very very boring.. i blame when i'm too busy, now i oso blame coz i'm too boring.. i rather i busy til i cant differentiate the days n nite, i oso dun wanto do nothing at home, bcome mould.. boring make me feel unhappy.. coz i will think back a lots of memory.. coz i've nothing to do, then my brain juz keep working n think sumthing else, n make me start to have a blue mood..
i dun like this kind of feeling.. i hate it, y m i staying so far.. but there's a advantage n disadvantage, advantage, i can know actually, how many frens i have now, who's sincere to me n who's not sincere to me.. disadvantage is i really very boring til i dun have sumthing to do, n i lazy to drive to town to look for my frens. n y i'm the one who alwis have to drive to look for my frens, n y cant they come n find me? y? i really feel upset now.. less frens.. best frens all far away from me.. no frens can accompany me.
DL, r u really tat busy, or u dun wanto meet me? u still owe me sumthing u know... have u forgotten bout tat? my cd... i really miss it.. so hope tat i can c u asap.. thanks
nex mon, i'll start to learn in a music studio. i hope i can have all the best.. god bless me, pls!!!

stupid internet

2007-09-16T23:10:00.000+08:00

omg.. so long i din on9 edi.. muz 'thanks' to the TM net n my stupid modem lo.. everytime, after i had on9 for 1 mth. then sure have sumthing wrong for me to connect to internet geh.. i'm veyr pist off. a lots of reason tat make me fail to on9, like the phone line get struck by lightning, modem spoilt, tm net cable, streamyx port got prob.. all this can happen in one mth time...

but finally i can connect again.. but i dunno tomolo m i tat lucky again to connect to internet again leh.. gotta try tomolo's luck lo..

erm.. today i feel a bit tired.. erm. i think coz i'm sick, having flu, sore throat, n coughing, last nite i even coughed out the blood, so scary.. then my sis told me tat i had injured my throat.. but tonite, i still having my dinner with my favourite bbq chicken wings... hehehe.. i had headache, maybe i think too much.. b honest to myself, i'm missing DL, he said, today he'll come back to kl n he said he can find me today.. but yesterday nite around 12am, i sms him n asked him whether he'll come to find me tomolo.. he din reply, i think he mite have sleep early.. n this morning i called him, he told me he's in meeting.. so i know i cant c him today.. coz his work so busy.. maybe he had cancelled his leaves today oso. today, i plan to bring him to my church for morning sermon n plan to have dinner with him in Xenri after my performance, but since he not yet come back to kl, so all this can't b happened..

god bless him. n i hope i can c him soon..

Ck, how r u edi leh? i miss u so much.. hope u can come to back to kl asap, so i can c u again lo.. miss u..

unlucky year of 2007 (episod 3) - saman by traffic police

2007-08-14T23:56:00.000+08:00

ew~ this yr i really go on a bad luck.. most of the bad things happen on me.. but i really thanks n pray to gad tat HE bless me..
on 3rd aug, met car accident.. was fined by the traffic police.. oh my gosh, this country really funny, people knocked my car, but i'm the one who get saman..
this is how the accident happened. tat day i finished my piano lesson at salak south, then i wento tmn Connaught to pay car loan at CIMB. after tat, i was bout going to my workin place in tmn Delima there. when i came out from a junction was about to turn left to the highway headin toward to kajang, suddenly a van came frm my left hand side knock my car front bumper lo.. then v stopped a side n discuss lo.. after tat, he decided to do police report so tat he can claim insurance.. actually his van damaged more than mine.. haha.. but one thing, today wat i wanto talked bout is the police in our country r dman bot profesion.. y i said so?
this is the conversation between me n the police..
Sarjan = s, Me=m, policewoman = p

after i wrote the report, a police asked me to c a sarjan. n i went up to his office..
M : 'hello, selamat petang sir' (gd evening, sir)
S : 'sila duduk.' (pls have a sit)
S : 'apa nak cakap?' (wat u wanto say to me?)
then i started to tell him how's the incident happened.
after tat, he wrote me a saman n gave it to me.
S : 'so sekarang u rasa siapa salah?' (then u think who's fault?)
M : 'i think is tat van driver, he knocked me was his fault. n y i'm the 1 who get saman?
S : 'u sudah drive how many yrs?' (how long u've been driving?)
M : '3 yrs'
S : ' yalo, cuma 3 tahun saja, tolak lagi 2 tahun P-lesen, u cuma ada 1 tahun punya driving experience.' (yalo, 3yrs only, 2yrs of P-licence, means tat u only have 1 yr driving experience)
S : 'lagipun, u perempuan. dah biasa la, perempuan drive memang cuai sikit punya. lagipun, sendiri salah, masih nak cakap orang salah.' (then, u'r female driver. female driving skills r bad all the time, then, usually gals do wrong things, they still wanto blame other people r wrong)

u know y the sarjan said so ? juz bcoz that the van driver made report earlier than me, n he wrote tat i knocked his car in his report.. so the police chose to trust the stupid van driver, n bcoz the van driver is an old man(35yrs old+-)... so the police oso think tat i'm wrong.. bcoz i'm a female, n i juz have only 1yr driving experience.

then i kept argue with him.. until a police woman came n interupted our conversation..

P : 'moi, u anak malaysia ke tidak?' (r u malaysian)
M : 'yup, i'm a malaysian. so...'
P : 'then kalau u malaysian, u patut cakap bm la.. kenapa asyik cakap english saja? u tak tau cakap melayu ke, dulu, cikgu tak ajar cakap melayu ar?' (then if u'r a malaysian, u should speak malay language la, y u alwis speak english, u dunno how to speak malay? is ur teacher din teach u when u'r at skoo?)
i was looking at her so blur. i was thinking tat does malaysia has a rule states tat v cant speak english in the police station, v muz speak malay..
M : 'my teacher taught me of coz. but i dun have much malays frens, tat's y i rarely speak bm.. n most of my malays frens, they're english educated, they speak english to me too.'
P : 'then kalau u tau cakap bm, u patutlah cakap bm la. sebagai anak malaysian, tak tau tutur dlm bahasa melayu, malu tau?' (if u know how to speak in malay, then u should use it la. s a malaysian, it's a shame tat u said u duno bm)
M : ' but never heard tat people tell me tat i've to speak bm in the police station wor. n our minister, alwiz encourage our citizens should learn more english n those government servant to attend more english intensive classes to brush up n improve their language skills wor.. but y now u tell me muz speak bm?'

then after tat, she oso know tat she's shouldn't interupt our conversation(sarjan n i), i think she oso knew tat she's too busybody....
then after she has gone, v continue to argue again..
at last, he suddenly said sumthing that make me feel like wanto vomit, too disgusting.

S : 'u nampak cantik ma, tak ada 'pak toh' ke?' (u look very pretty, y dun u go dating wit bf?)
M : ' no time.'
S : 'wa, saya semakin tengok u semakin cantik dari tadi sampai sekarang, takkan tak ada 'pak toh' punya?' (wa, u look prettier alot when u sit here til now, y u dun have a bf yet?')
i was thinkin bout all this is none of ur business, y u busybody..
M : 'then now u insist wanto give me saman, y u stil wanto question me this n tat.. u'r wasting my time..'
coz tat time was about 2.30am..
S : 'saya tau u tak puas hati jika saya terus bagi u saman, then saya bagi u chance untuk cakap lo.' (i know u sure will make noise if i give u the saman straight, tat's y i give u chance to talk lo)
har, i was so blur.. 1stly, i'll c him, coz they(policeman who checked my report) asked me to c him, 2ndly, they said when u c sarjan u can explain to him maybe can appeal.. but now, seems like wat they said were different.
M : 'if i know tat i stil have to get the saman at last, i wun sit here n argue wit u for 1hr+.. sir, u'r really wasting my time. pls la, let me go home, u dun have to work tomolo, but i need to.. now, u wanto give me saman, pls make ur move fast.'
S : 'moi, jangan cakap macam ni la. macam i buat salah saja.' (pls dun said like this la, seems like i'm the one who do wrong)
walao eh, of coz u wrong la.. if not me wrong meh.. u give saman to the one whose car knocked by people, n not the one who knocked my car..
S : ' moi, cari bf la.. u so cantik. sayanglah, kalau tak ada bf.' (u get 1 bf la, u so pretty, wat a waste if u dun have a bf)
yo.. he's really very disturban.. i know i've to say sumthing to shut his mouth up..
M : ' do u read newspaper, don't u? nowadays, so many criminal cases like rape, snatch, rob, murder, most of the victim r gals. do u think tat now if i get a bf, i wun get cheated by the guy, or killed or raped by them?'
S : ' then u cari polis la, polis tak tipu orang punya.' (then u find a policeman b ur bf lo, police wun cheat gals)
M : 'aiyo, then newspaper alwis got the news bout fake police.. i oso not dare la.'
S : ' then u cari polis betul punya la, jangan cari polis palsu' (then u find a real police la, not the fake one)
M : ' how i wanto know which one is real or fake leh?' can u pls give me the saman, i gtg.'
S : ' macam saya, mana ada saya tipu u?' (like me lo, i got cheat u meh?)
M : 'ok, pls give me the saman, pls dun waste my time, my dad is waiting outside.'
S : ' oh, bapa u tunggu luar ke? kasih saya tau awal awal ma?'

then i oso lazy to talk to him, i juz kept quiet n walked out from his office..
then he shouted behind me y tat i walked so fast..
oh my gosh, is this police chi sin wan? he has abberrent personality i think..
u c la, malaysia got this kind of police, i feel sad la..

unlucky year of 2007 (episod 2) - MPS

2007-08-09T01:23:00.000+08:00

Wow, i really wanto know wat had happened on me this yr?
During June : met snatch thief, luckily din get into hospital
July : get a saman from MPS(Majlis Perbandaran Selayang)
August : met car accident, finally i'm the one who get saman
from the sarjan,

Something is going wrong, isn't it?

last 2 weeks, the MPS fella came to my hse n complaint me.. oh my gosh.. n they gave 2 pieces of paper, 1 is then saman paper n another 1 is the notis to clean n clear my hse n dogs.. it's damn so stupid... they gave me saman without any notice.. then i started argued with the 2 fellas..
they wrote 3 points on the saman paper, 1st, ur house smelly, 2nd, ur dogs smelly, n 3rd ur dogs noisy.. pk.. really make me pist off.. tat's y i wanto start argue with them

this is our stupid conversation..

MPS : ' gd morning, i received some complaint from ur neighbourhood here regarding ur hse very smelly.'
Me : ' oo, is it? then can u smell sumthing smelly from me or my hse?'
MPS : ' nope.. i din smell anything wrong.'
Me : ' so, y u said my hse smelly. if my house really smell stink, do u think tat i still can stay so long in my hse with my family?'
MPS : 'yup. u'r rite.. erm, v'r sorry.. actually they complaint ur dogs very smelly, tat's y v have to come here n wanto check ur hse'
Me : ' oic.. then do u smell sumthing from dogs?'
MPS : ' oh no, v din.. '
Me : ' then y u stil said my dogs smell?'
MPS : 'erm, dunno, i juz write according to the complaint that the person made.'
Me : ' oo.. then if u jus wanto follow the paper, then y u still wanto come to check. if u wanto check, then pls check b4 u write any saman to me 1st.. so how now? wat u wanto me to do with this saman paper, u want me to pay? i din do anything wrong, but juz bcos of u simply wrote sumthing on the paper, then i have to pay.'
MPS : ' so sorry, u can go to c our superior to cancel the charge..'
then the MPS cancelled the 1st n the 2nd point.
MPS : ' but v still received report bout ur dogs very noisy.. n u c, til rite now ur dogs stil bark nonstop at me.. they're so disturbing..'
then i was thinkin r these 2 fella stupid or idiot? dogs will only bark at strangers, so my dogs dunno them, of coz they will bark at them..
Me : ' hey, sir, u 2 r strangers, of coz they'll bark at u la.. if not, y most of the people keep dogs, cos the dogs will bark at strangers n they can give awareness to the owner.. so if my dogs dun bark at u2, which means tat my dogs r abnormal. n if they dun bark, i oso wun keep dogs n let u have the chance to give me saman, rite?'
MPS : ' sorry la.. v cant cancel the saman. so u juz goto our office there n look for our superior n discuss with him, ok?
Me : ' wa, u give saman so fast but hor if ask u all to catch thief, u all cant even catch 1.. last mth, my bag've snatched, but after i reported, oso dun have any response oso..'
MPS : ' this is none of our busines.. sorry, v gtg.. v still have to check other hses.. bye'

conversation end

wow.. u c they run so fast when they know did somethin wrong.. but i'm the one still hav to pay for the saman.. so stupid..

today i wento the MPS there, n talked their superior edi.. so now she reduced the amount of saman from RM1000 to RM300.. n she said she'll highlight to the meeting tat i told her how i get those saman..
hehe.. but the RM 300 i have to pay coz my dogs dun have lesen.. but the stupid MPS din wrote bout this on the saman paper...

unlucky year of 2007 (episode1) - snatch-thief

2007-07-26T12:14:00.000+08:00

Wow.. it's been such a long time i've not blogging edi.. keke.. last month, modem get struck by the lightning, no time to get a new one. after i bought a new 1, i dun have time to install n on9 too.. so until now, i only can on9 successfully.. heehe.

On July, there' a lots of things happen on me.. haiz.. i oso dunno which one i should mention 1st.. end of june, on 21-24 june, i went Genting to duty for my music group for the TBW(total beauty workshop), i've learnt a lot... how to handle the music in a big event.. but on the last day i came down from Genting, i met an accident in Tmn Pertama, Cheras. Tat day, i tumpang my sideline's car down to kl, then interchange to KTM to back to sg Buloh, but then when i juz got down from the car, my bag get snatched by 2 malays on a motor. then bcoz of my bag too heavy(my bag full of books, spirulina, comb, water bottle, stationery). then they try to pull off my bag, bcoz of my bag was too heavy, tat's y they failed to snatch.. but i was pulled down by them, n my waist, head get injured. luckily i dun have any effects after that accident.. really thanks god. i'm still thinking if the thieves really can snatch my bag awaym, they'll b regret too.. coz my bag dun have any valuables, most expensive one is the spirulina only.. but i dun think that they'll know the value of the spirulina.

After i've met that accident, i'm still thinking of, if that day, the one who get snatch is one of their mom or dad, n get heavy injury have to stay in hospital or maybe coma, what would they(snatch-thief) think of? r they stil will continue being a thief? have they ever think of their family, one day some of their family member may meet this.. i'm not trying to curse them. i juz hope them will realise what they're doing now? iziit this r good for them? now bcoz they snatch people's bags, they found it s an excitement or they really short of money, but if one day they're the one who get snatch, wat will think of? will they know admit their mistake? this is a crime.

So i advise to every one on earth, pls think b4 u start to do everything, dun make urself regret in future time n for ur entire life.. life is given by our god, v've to appreciate it n use it in the better way to live out a meaningful life. n pls think of others b4 u do.

This's wat i've learnt after i met that accident. i'm lucky one, dun have heavy injury, dun need to stay in hospital. i read newspaper most of the time, alwis c the news bout bags snatched victim. 80% of them die or coma.. that time, i was so scared that i'll die or coma. what my mind comes 1st? my family my frens n my life.. so i said.. pls b more considerate to others.. p/s for those criminal.

meow~

2007-06-02T11:59:00.000+08:00

since yesterday i edi feel tat i'm a bit weird n moody, dunno y.. probably miss them too much.. dunno.. i really feel weird.. i cant c HF for 1 week coz he works in outstation now, n CK now is in penang, Wayn, i duno where he is now.. haiz... dunno when i only can c them.. uhuhuhuh...

today, whole day i spent with my parent, v wento bb plaza, low yat plaza n the digital mall.. walao eh, today tat area so jam, function on + raining day = drivers trap in the traffic jam for few hours leh.. of coz din drive today, but my dad drove.. hahha, then after tat v wento pj state there to eat 'duck rice', i feel this word a bit weird... but i dunno got another word to describe it onot lo.. then after dinner v wento digital mall there, v bought printer, mouse n no more.. hahhaa..

today is global day of the prayer, this morning i sent a sms to HF n pray for him, then i called him.. i feel tat sumthing is going wrong between us edi.. i duno wat's wrong with HF, since he came back to kl last week, then i find him yam cha on monday.. i felt tat there's a gap between us.. he's a bit far from me.. m i done or said sumthing wrong to him? then, wat has happened? now he is in penang 3 days, n will goto melaka for another 3 days to work, in this week i dun wanto sms or call him 1st.. after he comes back to kl, i only find him, n talk to him.. dun tell me, he worry tat i like him oo,tat's y he only wanto hide from me ar.. although i like to talk n play with him but not = i like him lo... c how 1st, have to wait until he comes back to kl 1st lo.. yesterday, i called CK, he is in penang now.. he said company asked him to work in penang for few week wor, then he said he will come back few week later then only give me a call.. wayn, i hardly will c him wan.. maybe can c him in company or when mmc meetiing.. last sunday was the mrt workshop, he oso din attend, i know maybe bcoz of the winners' nite, he stayed too late, tat's y he cant wake up early lo.. but luckily tat day,i still saw him in the crown hall lounge. but after tat he's not there edi, i only saw his dl there.. maybe he got appt or went home rest gua.. of coz la, now he edi a ccm, of coz can relax abit lo.. hmmm.. i muz add oil oso.. this yr, i muz b an esm..

gambate kudasai ne ..

my birthday present..

2007-05-31T09:51:00.000+08:00

very happy this yr bd.. although i juz received a few presents, but i edi feel very happy, coz the most important to me is not the present only, is the wishes from frens..

thanks to my frens who remembering my bd.. haha, special thanks to my best frens, shari, kat, erna, jeff, n ys...i'm very happy this yr.. although dun have any bd cake, but i'm really happy lo..thank you..
i had received some presents from my fren n best frens lo.. the 1st present i get 1 is from Kok Fong lo, he is really a nice guy..who dun have bf, i can intro him to u lo.. hahaha.. he gave me the present 3 days b4 my bd, coz he said he'll b very busy later wor.. then ys present me a sharpener, jeff n erna give gong zai, pig pig n mashimaro.. my eldest sis give me mocca cookies.. n sms received from shari(best fren for more 10yrs, now v chat everyday thru email coz she's in aus now), peh ling(know her since standard4), johnson, kok fong, bee lum(same bd), li wen, xian wei, terry, poh kuen, kah jun(now in china), rodman(my kai daddy, he's only 22yr old, juz call him this nick for fun), jin wu(know him for 5yrs, but juz c him twice), jeff, seow fong, weng ken(bought 2 pieces of choco cakes for me), vincent(sing me a bd song on the phone), n how fei(wish me 5 days later,coz he think tat my bd is 30th of may), hahaha.. really thank you lo...
one thing make me more happy is, on last sat(26/05/07), my 3 best frens come to bkt Jalil to find me, tat day i'll b there coz there's a winners' nite held there.. one ticket per entry is RM45 n free 1 bottle of 100tablets spirulina.. hehe, they all bought the tickets from me, i tot they wun come edi, but at last they come... they're jeff, erna, n kat.. 3 of them dunno each other yet, they know each other on tat day, of coz i intro them together ma.. hahaha, 1 thing make me happy is they all can mix together, v have nice chat, n photograph session.. i really happy, tat day all my best frens can held together.. 4 of us like have been knowing each other very long time.. of coz i know kat since form2, erna since form6, n jeff since form2 when ice skating... hahhah, really veyr happy.. n then they give me present on tat day too.. so actually i din celebrate my bd on my birthdate, but i stil celebrate with my best frens together, although v dun have cake, the nicest present is all my best frens here to c me n play together... except shari is not there, coz now she's in aus... then v took alot of pics.. 1 thing i m not happy is my dl's prob, he blame alot tat day, not frenly to my frens.. tat's y tat day i oso dun k him... n i pass him to my ul to take k, then i play with my best frens...

hahaha, i saw wayne tat day, he's now a ccm.. wow, he's so handsome... then after the show finished, then i sms him to congratulate him has become a ccm, then he replied thanks n asked who i m.. i juz said, i'm fighting for my target to become a rsm lo, then he juz said jiayou, oh yes... then v stopped.. but i still feel happy lo, at least he got reply my sms.. n tat day, i din c ck... dunno where's he now.. coz i called him since 24/5 til now, he never answer my call, i asked his ul, his ul said his hp got prob... oic.. nvm la, i will call some other time lo... wat to do... yo, very miss wayne n ck...

my 21st birthday ^.^v

2007-05-25T01:44:00.000+08:00

today(24/5) i wento cineleisure damansara to celebrate my bd, haha, but is alone, this is the 1st time, a very special gift to myself n nice memory.. yesterday, i told shari, she said wanto b so cham meh, no fren celebrate with u... but hor, after i think edi, i think nothing wrong to celebrate alone lo, n this is the 1st time n my 1st try.. although i feel weird.. but i dun k at all, at 6pm, i reached cineplex, theni bought the pirates of the caribbean3 movie ticket, tat day the movie is 1st the showing, so the cinema is full of people.. but i'm really lucky, coz i stil can get ticket n in the center seat.. buy 1 ticket of coz easier, coz u can sit anywhere... wow, the movie is really nice, enjoying watching the movie.. now i think back, actually watch movie alone is nothing weird n funny too, is quite enjoyable, the different is juz only no frens r sitting beside u.. but i'm enjoying the whole show.. after finish watching the movie, then i planned to walk around the curve, but finally i din, coz i really dunno where to walk, n i really feel damn weird to walk alone in the shopping complex, most of my frens know tat i seldom do shopping except with frens, but sumtime even frens ask to go shopping, i oso reject, coz i really dun like shopping.. so at last, i chose to sit in the starbuck's coffee to do my homeworks, hehehe, i brought my homeworks n camera together with me.. then i ordered drink n sit down to do hw lo.. i took some pics, of coz i asked help from people, 1 guy who's sitting in front of me.. then around 11.39pm. i wanted to go home edi, coz friday still have to work early in the morning.. the i walked along the street n take some pic lo(asked people to help me), coz my car i parked in cineplexe there.. then when i going to take my car in cineplexe, i saw one thing very nice, then i saw a guy(tat time, all shops edi closed), i asked him to help me to take a pic. then he very curious n asked me lo..he asked,'r u a local?' then i said,'yup.' then he asked,'r u 1st time here?' i said,'no, a few times'.. then i saw his mouth has opened abit, then he asked again, 'where'r u living?' then i said,'nearby lo'.. this time his mouth opened like a big O, i think u can put a orange to his mouth oso.. hahaha, very funny leh.. tat day, i think people who helped me to take pic sure tot tat i'm a tourist.. hahaha.. then v exchange our number n b fren lo..

although i celebrate my bd alone tat day, but i'm very happy.. not tat no frens to celebrate with me, bcoz my best frens all not free.. but i'll c them on this sat in bkt jalil lo..

1 thing, i very miss him, actually i called him tat day, but he din pick my call.. i think his hp got prob again..

crying eyes T.T

2007-05-24T01:47:00.000+08:00

this mornig, still feel happy coz today got mmc meeting in crown hall there.. but after i reach there, i cant c them make me feel very disappointed lo, they din come for the meeting today.. 2days later is my bd, erm, not is 1 day, coz now edi 1am thurs.. i had received 2 presents from my frens, one is from K.F another one is from Y.S.a bit happy lo.. at least got 2 people remember my bd, but i know KF, shari definitely remember my bd, coz they did ask me few day or few weeks ago bout my celebration of my 21th bd.. but i said i got no idea, coz tat day i'll b working till late at nite, then gotta go home early, coz nex day sat, i have to wake up at 6.30am to work.. then HF oso said he'll celebrate with me but later coz now he's work outstation, will come back 2 weeks later wor, n he said after he comes back he only celebrate with me, maybe bringing me to blue lagoon, i oso dunno where's it, he said somewhere in seremban.. i dunno true onot la.. all this have to wait til he comes back only i'll know.. i oso dunno how i can celebrate my bd, feel lonely lo, actually i hope everyone of my frens wil remember, but is imposible lo.. i oso hope tat CK will remember too.. i dun want anything from him, a bd wish edi enuf..

juz now got scolded by mom, feel sad. then i cried.. now eyes pain..

tomolo(few hours later, after i wake up), i'll goto watch movie, the pirates of the caribbean n the spiderman3, both oso my favourite movie,, hahah, of coz have to watch alone, if not y i said i feel lonely leh, no frens celebrate with me.. nvm lo, since i oso never try to watch movie alone b4, this is my 1st try.. maybe a nice try..oso a present i give to myself n now i still thinking of where to watch the movie, cineleisure, kepong jusco, or 1utama.. headache.. haiz..

actually i planned to call him tomolo whether he can come out for dinner with me anywhere oso can.. s long s can c him lo.. mizz him leh...

disappoinment ~.~

2007-05-19T22:03:00.000+08:00

ew~ whole day i've been waiting for his call, no respond.. sad, sad, sad, he din call me at all.. dun tell me he really had forgotten bout the words he said... he said he'll call me, but he din... lier.. my heart break... make me feel no mood to do things... i really miss him.. nvm, i'll call him nex week on wed.. maybe i'll c him in this coming mmc meeting.. hopefully, i can c him tat day n invite him to have dinner with me s my birthday wish la....
god bless me n him..

...love u alwiz...

still waiting for the call..~.~

2007-05-18T23:18:00.000+08:00

ew~ i've been waiting for his call since this morning til now.. alert to my phone, not dare to go away from my phone, dare not to leave my phone aside, coz i worry he'll call me anytime.. he said he'll call me this week, but he din mention which day.. v said tat will go clubbing this sat.. probably he'll call me tomolo at last minutes.. but if he really call me tomolo, then how, i dun think i can go.. coz everything is not in plan.. ~.~ or maybe he had forgotten me.. T.T... so sad.. now my heart feel sad n pain.. nobody can help me... now already 11.30pm, he sure wun call me, i think now he maybe still having appt with frens or clients... i'm missing u.. i told myself, if tomolo he really call me, i wun answer his call.. coz i wanto let him know, i cant do things last minutes wan.. i've to plan my schedule b4 i do everything..

nex week is my birthday already, i dunno whether he can remember onot.. hope tat he'll remember my birthday la.. my present from him is juz only a simple wish lo, dun need present.. this year i really dunno how to celebrate my this 21th birthday.. will think of it later.. i think of ask him out on thurs nite n eat dinner with him or juz yam cha or clubbing if he can... but juz only with him.. for now, i dun wanto think so much 1st.. i wanto try to ask him out nex week 1st, c whether he can onot..

.. love u alwiz ..

happy n busy day...

2007-05-18T00:49:00.000+08:00

hoho.. wat a busy day for me.. haha.. for me, of cos is a busy day la.. for most of my frens sure they will say,'wa, so senang, still say busy ar!'. haha... c.. different people, have different life style n different point of view..

today, early in the morning, i woke up at 7.30am, bcoz i've to go to pasar pagi to help my mom to buy vege, then i bought some vege n breakfast for myself lo.. haha.. i seldom wake up so early during weekdays.. coz my working time is start in the evening around 5 or 6pm.. but wat to do, mummy ask to wake up early to go to pasar pagi, if i dun do so, my mom sure will kill me.. luckily today i woke up early oso lo, bcoz after i bought vege n eaten breakfast, i wento Kepong to settle my streamyx n phone bill.. walao eh, both cost me RM286 leh.. wow, so expensive.. but wat to do la, i muz pay, if not if i get blacklisted, nex time i wanto apply others oso will b veyr troublesome.. then, after paying all this, me n my sis actually planning to go for a movie in Jusco, Kepong. but then, the time cant suit.. coz i felt sleepy(u've to understand lo, i seldom wake up so early, except sat) then at last, v din go. so v wento the JPN to take my sis's IC.. after tat v reach home.. hehe.. after v reach home, i went back to sleep until 2pm, i woke up again.. y? bcoz i wanto watch tv lo, my favourite movie shown on the tv... actually i got few of appointment lo.. n i late for the 1st one.. so met up Jeffrey in KL Central then i brought him to Elken Company to let him visit my company.. he now join another ds company which named IPC.. but nvm, it wun crash with my Elken too.. firstlym, i planned to bring him to eat the kung fu kuey teow at the RO corner, but so unfortunately, today it closed maybe today is a rainny day, tat's y they closed... then i brought him walked around at my company n introduce the products to him... but one things really make me happy is i met Wayn at there too.. n he saw me.. v juz looked at each other for few seconds, then v juz act c nothing n continue with our stuff.. haha.. really happy lo.. i miss him so much.. i never think of i will c him there.. this is y i feel happy today.. things to make me happy is invaluable.. it's really a surprise^.~

after finished visiting company, v went for dinner at the Wan Tan Mee stall there.. then v chat there.. at least, i had convinced Jeff a bit to come to the Winners' Nite.. at least, he listened to wat i said n he said he maybe will come n depend on the day whether he is free onot.. at least, there's a improvement, bcoz b4 tat, he is totally reject me without i saying a word.. after my dinner, i start with my busy journey, y i said so... then i picked up my dl at Mid Valley bus stop, then i sent Jeff home, n then i followed my dl to go to his appointment. then i met Chen Yi.. v chat for a while.. after tat, i rushed to Tmn Pertama there to met Sook Mun.. n i had cancelled one appointment with William they all.. coz cant suit the time.. after tat, around 11.30pm, i fetched Sook Mun home. then quickly rushed to Mid Valley Bus stop to drop my dl there, bcoz then last bus to Puchong comes at 12am sharp.. so if he missed the bus, then i've to send him back.. of coz i dun wanto do so.. 1st, journey far, 2nd, i'm tired of rushing, 3rd, waste of petrol n time.. tat's y i quickly sent him there..

while on my way back to Sg Buloh, i listened to hitz fm, bcoz i'm thinking of CK again.. everytime, when i drive, i will automatically tune to hitz fm, coz i know he does listen to hitz fm too.. miss u.. muacks...

heartbreak...T.T

2007-05-17T01:52:00.000+08:00

today, after i had finish my work in Thean Hou Gong, thne i picked up my dl, Vincent n met up my ul, uncle David in Tmn Connaught to go to Vincent sis hse to visit his mom.. coz his mom sick edi.. after v visited his mom, me n uncle David wento the Pasar Malam in Tmn Connaught there.. wow, it's been such a long time i din go to nite market edi.. n i dun have a hobby to go to nite market too.. coz i dun like crowded place.. n v walked n ate over there lo..
when i planned to go home, me n uncle David walked toward to my car tat time, i saw Ching n William, n 2 of their frens... i was so happy when i saw her.. but after i had talked to her, i found tat she had changed.. i dun think she really wanto fren with me.. y.. coz when i questioned her, she was trying to run away from my questions... n then, she said, if i wanto find her, i can straight away find William.. coz if i can find William, then i can find her... do u know when she said so, my heart felt pain.. oh my gosh, i know her for so many years edi, now i wanto find u out yamcha, oso have to get thru William 1st ar.. wat the hell is all about, har.. Ching, is my best fren since i'm standard4 till form 5, v'r actually very best fren, but our frenship has been broken up due to some consequences, bcoz there'r some body want to spoil it.. at last, v really broke.. T.T.. William, is my primary skoo classmate... i know tat they know each other only for few year coz they know when they'r working in the same company.. but i really sad, u know.. frens for so many years edi, now wanto find her oso need to pass thru some1 b4 i reach her.. do u know how my heart feels...i really feel sad... u know, my felling comes all of sudden, liek the turnado comes without any notice..

but, though i feel sad, at the same time, i think of Ck, this few days i not dare to call him coz i worry tat i'll disturb him... i really miss a lot.. n somemore, last sat, he said he'll call me this week, i dunno he'll b calling me onot la.. but then, i stil will wait for his call de.. but i do really hope, if v really go clubbing this sat, i hope juz only 2 of us..

... miss u n love u always, CK

happy mothers' day

2007-05-14T13:46:00.000+08:00

yesterday is mothers' day, how all of u celebrate with ur dear mom? haha, i 'm actually already celebrate with my mom last week, wednesday 2/5/07, that day was public holiday, so everyone of us is damn free.... but yesterday v celebrate again, bcoz v celebrate with my grandma... yesterday v'r very happy n enjoying. i can c tat my dear grandma really happy n enjoying too.. yesterday v can say tat v'r celebrating with big family, wiht my 5th uncle's family n my 1st aunt's family too. tat's y i say my grandma was so happy last nite.. bcoz comes to mothers' day, she still has 3 children celebrate with her.. although she still got another 3 children cant come due to some circumstances, but i know she's really enough of appreciate wat she has today... me,myself oso feel very happy.. ^.~ after our dinner, v went to hte sunway semenyih resort club house there.. v changed 9bucks for pool games.. me n my sister play twice, n my uncle n my dad play once.. while v'r playing the pool, 4 moms(my mom, my 1st aunt, my 5th aunt n my grand ma) gather together to play carrom.. haha, all of them r already a mom for few children... yesterday, really is a beautiful scene n pic to c..y i say so, coz the carrom table juz nex to the pool table.. while waiting for my turn to play, i'll look to the carrom side there.. all moms there r really happy n enjoy... v playyed til around 9pm+, then v went back to my uncle's home again. b4 v left there, v had taken some picture at the club house there.. then v chit-chat at my uncle's house once v reached his house.. my bro brought his er-hu, n performed for us, n my dad n my uncle were doing the 'yim kuk gai' (salty chicken) s our supper.. then after a while, my uncle's fren came, then i played the chinese chess together with them.. haha v play under the rain, holding an umbrella, damn funny, this is the first time i did.. n i won the game too... hahaha.. first time i won in chinese chess with elderly man ooo..

wat a wonderful mothers' day nite...i do really hope this picture will c it every year... ^.^

another unhappy day

2007-05-12T01:25:00.000+08:00

today, i feel damn unhappy when the dark falls on me... feel so upset.. today i finish my work at 8.30pm too, regularly reach home at 9pm +. tomolo will b mother's day, so my eldest sis's church is having a dinner for celebrating the mother's day.. so sad, i cant join them with my family n those church members, coz they end at 9pm.. but nvm, luckily i feel full... dunno y.. i juz oly ate abit then i feel full maybe is due to my bad mood, i think so...
when 10.30pm, i miss called CK, he din answer my call.. i guess tat he has something to do.. tat's y i din disturb him.. then i called him again at 11pm, finally he picked uphis phone.. oh my gosh, i miss his voice s well s his face.. then i asked he will go clubbing ? he said, might b nex sat, n he will call me nex week to tell me.. bcoz i'm quite a buzy person, tat's y i need to arrange my schedule.. hmm, he's in penang tat day, actually i called him oso for another purpose, which is wanna ask him out for drinks.. but nvm la.. i still will c him this sat.. i hope this sat he wun bring frens along.. coz i juz wanna b with him,juz 2 people.. i really do hope this sat is only with him n he wun ffk me...
i feel unhappy today oso bcoz of him.. coz i'm very miss him... friday, i called him for few times, sms him, he oso din reply n cant reach to his phone.. till nite i got him,he only tells me tat he dunno bout it.. i dunno whether he's really dunno, or he jz never care... m i really annoying to him???

???insomnia???

2007-05-11T11:45:00.000+08:00

this few days, i hardly get into sleep coz cant stop thinking of him.. my mind full of his picture..
on the 8th, i met him in kepong.. i called him out.. that time he was having dinner with his 3 male frens.. i had a bad mood tat day too.. so i din join their dinner together.. but now i felt regret, y dun i join them n get know to his frens... but tat day i really had a blue mood, i cant even feel like to smile to anyone... then i told him v juz meet after his dinner with his frens.. around 12.30am, he had jus finished his dinner, then v met up again.. then v went to a mamak stall in manjalara, v drinks at there for few minutes.. then v left.. firstly i tot of left there earlier so tat he can go home earlier, dun need to stay so late, coz he's staying in puchong, 45mins travels from kepong.. i had told i juz unhappy tat day, coz my life full of stress n tensions.. i feel like wanna cry juz to release.. finally, i cried in front of him.. then he accompanied me, n gave me lotz of advice..ends up tat day he went home at 2am.. i understand wat he's saying.. coz all this i remind myself all the time.. finally, i said i juz wanto cry only... actually i know wat shud i do.. my life still have to go on..
i can c his tired eyes.. at last, i listened to his words i go home quickly..
when i reach home, i called him when he'll going to clubbing.. he said maybe nex sat.. ok.. then i will c him again..
i really miss him so much.. do u know i feel.. everynite hardly get into sleep, bcoz of cant stop myself thinking of him.. he's really a different guy from most of the guys i know.. maybe this is bcoz he oso an elkenian.. can say tat elkenians r all special.. like y.s, wayne, pauline, n a lots more.. even male n female in Elken, u can feel their specialities n difference compares to others who not elkenian..bcoz elkenian has different mindset from others.. this is true.. coz i'm a Elkenian too.. i miss u..
..i love u Chee Keen..

fall in luv sick ~.~

2007-05-09T05:15:00.000+08:00

this few days, i found myself having some prob.. fall in love sick again.. i have a secret tat my best frens dunno yet.. this keeps me feel uncomfortable... i dun wanto let them know, bcos i worry tat they will pour the cold water from my head.. maybe wat i'm thinking now n wat i do now r incorrect, but i still wanna continue to live this way..
now i'm very agresive in Elken, n i met 2 guys tat i like, one is Wayn, another one is Chee Keen.. i told my best fren included Y.S, Alexis, n Kat tat i luv wayne, n i told them i still in survive in Elken is all bcos of Wayne.. all this is true... is bcos of Wayne, now u'll only c changes from me.. but after i met Chee Keen, i found tat i luv him more than Wayn.. this probably maybe i know tat i can have Wayn in future, coz i know Wayn is tat kind of guy who has a high demand on his gf, n i know i will never can meet his requirement.. though, Chee Keen not tat handsome s Wayn, but at least v'r fren, i still have a chance to get him.. i believe a love relationship should b start from frenship.. this is the difference n gap between Wayn n Chee Keen.. but s i know, i think he already has a gf either a gal who has trap in his heart.. but nvm, i still work hard for him..
if i tell my best frens, i really dunno wat they will say on me.. this few days,all this make me feel unhappy.. my bd wish for this year, is i hope i can celebrate wit Chee Keen.. Maybe, he will reject for my invitation.. maybe he will run away far from me..but i really miss him....